So my blog’s been quiet for far too long. There’s no excuses, only a simple reason that unfortunately, I suspect too many of you will understand. The extent of my depression and anxiety has become so severe that over the past year, I’ve had to pare my life back to the absolute essentials just to get through each day. The impact of my fibromyalgia diagnosis has really played out over the past twelve months, and on top of that, I was recently diagnosed with postpartum post-traumatic stress disorder.
With all that written down, it’s easy to see how, despite how much solace I take from writing, it’s all been pushed aside for the sake of simply making it through. Everything has. Friendships have withered and wider family don’t understand. Life has been nothing but endless of sleep (or try to), study, children, sleep, repeat, punctuated by ceaseless pain and an anxiety that claws deep into every facet of my life.
Strangely, it’s coronavirus that’s allowed me to breathe. My family are all safely under one roof and my university course has ended early for the year, with my marks high enough to keep me on track for a First. In the last few weeks, I’ve been placed under the care of a fantastic psychiatrist, and she’s encouraged me to use this time to take stock of what makes me feel happy and safe – and more than anything else, it’s my writing.
So here I am. I can’t type as fast as I could before, and the fibro side-effects prevent me from processing the words as clearly as I’m used to, but by writing in short, repeated bursts, I’m determined to build writing back into my daily routine. I see more short stories and poetry in my future, but the edits on my novel, The Strange Case of Doctor Magorian, are nearly complete, so my aim is to start sending that out to publishers by the end of the summer – and to check in more regularly here!